Yep. We broke up. We are two individuals. No longer a couple. No longer a team.
We came to a realization. We were both miserable. Loving each other. Enjoying most of our time spent together. And, waiting for the chaos to unfold.
It needed to end. We need space. We need an opportunity to go our separate ways. If we are led back to each other, great. If not, it was an interesting run. Either way, if we stop this now, we can still be civil. We can even be friendly, and we can eventually be friends.
If we stop it now.
If we continue going this way, we will hate each other. There will be no going back. It will be too far broken.
That would be a loss.
Too often people stay too long. They beat the hell out of that dead horse. They hold on to a relationship for an outside reason. Finances. Property. Comfort. Kids. They make each other miserable because they don’t have guts enough, or resources, to let each other go.
We freed one another, and it feels good to be free.
Update: I held on to this post for days. Felt too real to admit I’d failed at another relationship. But then the realness hit. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t going to be happy. The relationship was over. We weren’t compatible. I was done.
What I know:
I’ll never date another man without kids. He can’t understand parenthood and sacrifice the same way.
I’ll never lose my voice again. If I’m not being heard, then I’m talking to the wrong person.
I won’t give more than I’m getting expecting him to catch up.
I won’t allow myself to follow blindly.
I won’t allow myself to be talked down to.