Sheesh. This relationship stuff is really difficult.
I’ve been going through some drama in my relationship, and we are struggling.
Our primary issue has been ongoing, but I’ve had a hard time verbalizing how I’ve been feeling. How do you tell someone that’s bent over backwards for you, that you think they’re selfish? It doesn’t really make sense. It sounds ridiculous. It comes across petty. And, I become the drama queen that’s impossible to please.
But, that’s the truth. He is selfish.
Backstory is that he’s been single for the last DECADE. Although he has dated, he hasn’t been in any relationships…at all.
10 years, huh? That’s a long run. That’s a long time.
So although he’s treated me like a queen, queendom ends where his wants begin. There’s no sacrifice or consideration. This is his kingdom.
And, I can’t. I don’t want to.
It’s in my nature to sacrifice, consider, and make it work. So, I need to feel that it’s appreciated. There’s only so much I can give if it’s not.
We have to figure this out. We have to. It’s figure it out or nothing.
I was never anyone’s princess.
My dad wasn’t the type of dad to have a princess. He didn’t subscribe to all that daddy/daughter type stuff. He was a hard working provider. There weren’t a lot of lovey dovey moments, but no one missed any meals, not one need was ever forgotten, and most of what I wanted I had two of. I’ve always been loved.
My parents weren’t the madly in love type. They were upper middle class folks that worked for everything they had. They sacrificed and pushed themselves to achieve what they wanted until they didn’t have to. There isn’t a lot of time for date nights and romantic occurrences when you’re building an empire.
My mom is tough. She was raised by single women. No matter what my dad brought to the table she was conditioned to be able to provide for herself and me. She lived that rule. Warriors, raised to be warriors, don’t raise princesses. They raise warriors.
I’ve never been a princess. I’ve never aspired to be a princess. I don’t understand it.
I understand work. I know how to push myself. I know how to be reliable, strong, and consistent. I know how to get stuff done. This is queendom.
I’ve always preferred a crown over a tiara, anyway.