We only entertain what’s important to us. 

I’ve had a long and often complicated relationship with this one guy. I saw so much potential in us, sacrificed so hard, and prayed for us almost daily. 

I’m 36. I felt this had to work. We had to be successful. I honestly felt like it was my very last chance. Because, in those moments I saw my options for another child, this grand life, and all my goals slipping through my finger tips. We had to work. Right?

No. We didn’t. We weren’t good for each other. We weren’t focused on the same agenda. We didn’t have the same goals. We just weren’t right for each other. I had to get that into my rock hard skull. I had to learn to live without him. 

I had to learn that we only entertain what’s important to us, and he wasn’t really entertaining me. 

I had to learn that if it worked out, this would always be my life. I would always be hurt. I would always be disappointed. I had to learn that we weren’t creating a partnership, he was teaching me how to settle. I had to learn that  his love would never be enough for me. I had to learn that it wasn’t the sacrifice I was meant to make. 

And, I’m still learning how to let go. I’m still figuring out how to let go of the investment I made with zero return. Because that’s what it’s all about. 

Really, that’s it. 

I gave so much for us. I invested so deeply. I tried so hard. There’s gotta be a payoff, right?

No. 

Sometimes there’s nothing left. Sometimes you just lose. I lost. But, it’s kinda losing the battle not the war.

 
Because winning is sometimes losing, right? I’m choking on my on words. 

I’m on the other side of that chaos. Still wishing we had a friendship to show for the time we spent in each other’s lives, but grateful that he left me in a place to meet this new guy. 

Because this guy is making an equal investment, and I’m looking forward to all the adventures, life, goals, and opportunities we will explore TOGETHER. 

“Last night took an L, but tonight I bounce back.” -Big Sean

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Invest in your relationships. 

  

I hate to cry. I hate being that vulnerable. Because, the people who typically make me cry don’t deserve my tears. They just don’t. 

– I found this paragraph already in my drafts as I prepared to start this post. It felt incredibly relevant and was probably written while I was experiencing much of what this post is about. It kind of makes me emotional thinking back on the many instances that could have prompted this paragraph. 

I’m typically really thoughtful in my relationships. I am genuine, respectful, and kind. I try to make honest investments in people. I try to treat them well and show them that I value them. I try. I sometimes fail, but it’s not on purpose. And, it usually is devastating to me.  

The people I choose to have in my life mean a lot to me. It’s an emotional investment. I take our relationship seriously. 

I deserve the same in return. 

And, it’s easy. 

5 small things that make a huge impact. 

1. Check in regularly. Make sure they’re hearing from you. Ask about the important things going on in their lives. Share the important things going on in your life. 

2. Be honest while being kind. 

3. Clearly communicate your needs and expectations. Don’t expect them to be mind readers. And, vice versa…be receptive.  

4. Engage. Give them your attention. Make sure your time with them is free from any distractions. 

5. Make sacrifices and establish priorities. Big or small doesn’t matter. Just choose them over all the other noise in life, but be reasonable. They won’t out rank everything, every time. Sacrifice what you can when you can. And once you establish your priorities, it will be much easier. 

Take care of your relationships. No one owes you their attention. And if you aren’t willing to make an investment in the people in your life they will leave you, because you didn’t deserve them, and they didn’t deserve you.