I am valuable. 



I am a valuable friend.
 

I know I’m not the most available person. Between life’s responsibilities and being a mom, I don’t have a lot of time. But, what I have I will give freely. 

I try to check in. It’s a small gesture, but it’s been impactful when received. I’ll send you a message or give you call to let you know I’m thinking of you. I’ll send something I thought could be motivational. I’ll give you the funny thing I came across on social media. I want you to know I’m always here. I will find time for you. I will support you. I will love you. 

My circle is so incredibly small and so incredibly important to me. I want to be a valuable friend to my valuable friends. 

I am a valuable girlfriend. 

I love the idea of love. I love having someone’s back, being in their corner, loving and supporting their day to day, their hustle, and their dreams. 

I want to be woven into your family dynamic. I want to weave you into mine. 

I want the plus one, the sacrifice, the partner, the best friend, the above all else. I want that. 

I can be submissive, and I can be strong. You can lean on me. You can depend on me. You can trust me to be reliable.

I’m not looking to come up off your efforts. We can move forward working side by side. 

I don’t need to be saved. I’m no damsel. I’m not in distress. 

I am valuable. I am worthwhile. And, I realize that, finally. 

I’m editing the relationships in my life. I’m changing what I allow. I’m realizing my value, and I’m expecting the man I end up with to realize it too. 

In case there is any confusion…

I’m not interested in dismissive behavior. No manipulative antics. No liars. You need to have already found yourself. Be confident, a decision maker, and a leader. I can’t be involved with someone that doesn’t understand value and isn’t showing any initiative. 

Put your guard down, pray about it, and then we just try. 

Side note: I’m writing this for all the women who’ve been experiencing less than their value. For anyone who forgot, even for a moment, how amazing they are. 

We are beautiful, talented, nurturing, strong women, who deserve to be appreciated and valued. Your value is not based on you hair texture, skin tone, height, waist size, or whatever you beat yourself up about. You’re incredible. I promise. The man who doesn’t see your worth, isn’t your man. 

It’s really that simple.  

I’m in my 30s. Really in them.

It’s my birthday, a couple days past. Yep. I’m another year older. Hello 34. Do me right.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other night. Thanks Kels. And, we were talking about dating in our 30s. It’s different. It’s definitely different…for us.

Our priorities have changed. We bend, but we don’t break. We make sacrifices and honor our loved ones. We do the hard stuff now. The game changed.

I was a different person in my 20s. I was very self serving. I was focused on me. I thought I knew what I wanted, had trouble figuring out how to get it, but I thought I knew. I didn’t.

I had some unattainable dreams and goals. Thought the world was going to make a place for me. No more. I’m figuring it out, but I’ve stopped the dreaming and started the work.

You can’t date me haphazardly. You can’t just see what comes. You need to be intentional and honest. You need to do the work.

Let’s cut to the chase. I’m dating to marry. I’m dating for a family and longevity. I want to know where this is ultimately going. I’m not laying it all on the table at the first meeting, but it’s the route I’m going. What are your intentions? What’s your plan, pal?

In my 20s, I would fake a lot interest for feelings sake. I laughed at dumb jokes, and pretended to be interested in things I could care less about. Not anymore. You must earn my interest. Let’s discuss real topics, debate a little, and even agree to disagree.

I’ve said this all before, I’m sure, but I haven’t done well about living it. But in my 30s, I’d rather be upset and disappointed for a few days than live in it with anyone for a lifetime.

There’s no more wishes and big plans. I am who I am. I’m not selling who I hope to be one day. There aren’t any conversations about what I plan to be when I grow up or who I want to be. I am her. I’m fine tuning her, but my personality and views are pretty well established.

I’m demanding. I’m demanding you to say what you need to say and do what you need to do 100% of the time. I am practicing that, even when it seems impossible. You need to do the same.

Show up. Speak your mind. And know, that tomorrow is not promised. I’m not promised. In my 30s, I’m not leaving my choices up to hopefulness. Do the work.

Someone needed to hear this. I hope you figure it out. But if you don’t, I hope you are comfortable in the bed you made.