Toxic is toxic. 

Toxic is toxic…SMH

I’ve struggled in a relationship recently. Trying to determine if this is worth the work. 

You can’t let toxic people stay in your life. I know this sounds like a “duh” moment, but if you take an assessment of everyone in your life you’ll probably realize it’s easier said than done. 

Toxicity can live in romance, with your parents, siblings, or extended family. It can be your BF or your BFF. It can be tied to any relationship. You have to identify toxicity despite the relationship or the reason. And, you have to get rid of it. 

Disclaimer: I am NOT saying you have to cut people out of your life. You may, but you may not. It could be enough to change the dynamic of the relationship, if the other person is willing. 

No matter what, your overall health is dependent on the chemistry of your relationships. 

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“So, I’m dating a widower. And, it feels like a competition.”

Whoa.

If you are competing with his deceased wife, YOU WILL LOSE!

In death, most people become saints. Her sins have been forgiven, and he’s going to mourn her forever.

You are still around to make mistakes. You lose.

This was all prompted by a conversation I had with a friend recently. She’s involved with a single dad who lost his wife during child birth. And although she does what she can to support them, it’s often met with accusations of wanting to replace the deceased, primarily by her family.

Step back. If you love him, and this child, you will wait when needed and give them the time necessary…all parties involved (this means her family). This doesn’t mean you leave the relationship or take unnecessary hits. It merely means that you tuck your feelings in, and don’t make the mourning about you.

Easier said than done? Quite possibly.