I recently read this article about the 10 Habits of Happy Couples. Interesting.
1. Go to bed at the same time.
This one is hard for me. I have a really strange sleeping pattern. I think #8 is more essential in my relationships.
6/17: Wait. I was watching, couldn’t find the remote, RHOC (I think that’s the right abbreviation for the Real Housewives of Orange County) and saw another side of this. One of the husband goes to bed REALLY early. I don’t know if this is attributed to his work schedule or what. I’m not really into this franchise anymore. But the wife was shown just kinda hanging out in their house alone. He goes down at their kids bed time. That changed things for me. I may not always go to bed when my partner does, but I’m gonna try much harder. It was sad watching her tuck her ENTIRE family into bed, grab her glass of wine, and go play solitaire on the family computer.
2. Cultivate common interests.
We should find things we enjoy doing together. Even things separate from our own personal interests. This could be simple or complex, but it will give us a common bond with an enjoyable experience, together.
3. Walk hand in hand or side by side.
Duh! Human contact is so important, and often it’s the little things that mean the most. Remember how much we loved holding our boyfriends hands when we were in junior high. It’s similar, and it’s a great Segway into #10.
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
Have you ever been friends or involved with someone who never gave you benefit of the doubt? Have you ever been forced to defend yourself against ridiculous lies and accusations? We all know how that feels. How would it feel to be in that position with someone you loved?
5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong.
It’s so easy to focus on the negative. We are so quick to give it our attention. But what about all the positive. We barely acknowledge it. We probably appreciate the perfection in our lives, but fail to focus on it, point it out, and comment on it. But, the negative will evoke conversations, arguments, and two-cent comments from friends. Why?
It’s important to voice your concerns and issues, but don’t make that the only thing you have a voice on.
6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work.
For me, it’s not an actual hug, but I think it’s a great practice to ensure you’re acknowledging each other at the end of the day. When your partner comes home, or when you come home, both of you should make a point to seek out and acknowledge the other in your most comfortable way. For me, I need and give a quick smooch on the lips or cheek. It may be different in each relationship, but this speaks to human contact and connection every day when you get back together.
Doing it immediately when you get back to one another, ensures that you don’t miss this point of contact.
It’s easy to get wrapped up in household responsibilities and never physically acknowledge each other.
7. Say “I love you” and “have a good day” every morning.
Because we don’t know what the day may hold, it’s essential to send your loved ones out into the world with love and assurance each day.
8. Say “good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.
Is this meant to be the old don’t go to bed angry? Forcing you to say something to avoid going to bed as a two mutes. Maybe…
Saying goodnight, closes the day for both of you. Like #7, this should be a no-brainer. It’s the most basic contact with your partner. If you can’t start and end the day speaking to one another, when those options are available, you aren’t in an adult relationship anyway.
9. Do a weather check during the day.
AKA “check in” on each other throughout the day. The article speaks on making adjustments for the evening based on how your partner is feeling midday. Agreed. But, I think you check in just to check in. My day has been positively altered by hearing from “my guy” during both typical and difficult times.
10. Be proud to be seen with your partner.
Additional information: Most blog post take a couple revisions before I post them. No one wants to look like a fool on the internet.
I started this blog on 6/15, and had to revise it on 6/17 after seeing something that changed my view point.