Road Trip continued…

destination = Danny…

So there’s this other guy…

Back in the gap of time, I dated another guy who lives there, in 2nd Chris’ town. Danny. He was a fun time. I thought we had a future. I was committed to whatever that future was. It wasn’t undying love, though. Again, it was the appreciation of a man that wanted to have a happily ever after with me. It’s kinda my thing, being a chameleon.

We’ve been talking again. Kinda assessing the situation. Do we still have chemistry?

He looked the same. He sounded the same. Everything about him was consistent and reliable. I felt different though. A lot has changed in the last two years.

No offense to him, but he is in the same place. I’m not.

Back to interracial dating…yep. He’s Hispanic. He is also wanting to enjoy the “exotic black woman experience.” And no matter how much he wanted to ride off into the sunset with me, he didn’t know how to introduce his chocolate girlfriend to his caramel family.

That’s valid…if we were in high school. But, I’m 33 years old. Which is 1000 years too old to be wondering how to meet some grown man’s mama. I’m a pro! I’ve been doing this for a minute. I was a debutante. “Hi, Mrs. Blah Blah Blah. It’s so nice to meet you. Thank you for having me in your beautiful home.” There’s no charm school lesson for how to handle, “hi, Mrs. Blah Blah Bla…oh no she fainted!”

I’m not interested!

I want it to just click.

Interracial Relationships

I’ve been open to interracially dating since I started dating. Going to a predominately white school K-12, gave me a wider view of dating options. I date in the moment. Even though I am typically attracted to a specific type of man, I’m open to engaging with anyone I have an emotional, physical, or mental attraction too.

Since my friends know about my equal opportunity dating, I end up being the spokesperson for black women with them. Disclaimer: I’m not an expert, I speak from my feelings, and I only make assumptions for anyone else. The question I got slammed with this time was why do black women have a problem with black men dating white women. Seriously?

Black women aren’t typically sought after by anyone by black men. You seldom see a black woman in a committed relationship with any man of another race. It happens, but rarely. And many of us are open to dating interracially, but I think history keeps that at bay. Our only guarantee is the black man, and we are sharing him with the white woman, the criminal justice system, his mama, and his insecurities.

Disclaimer 2: I don’t have a problem with someone who openly dates to find their perfect match. However, I do have issue with men who refuse to date a race of women based on ridiculous assumptions of the entire race. That includes black men who refuse to date black women. It’s ridiculous. I won’t condone it.

And knowing that most black men don’t seem to be looking to settle down until they are well into their 30s, this means we need to lock on to a 35 year old by the time we are 28. That’s a lot of rules and regulations to remember and live up to. So, what does that mean to the 33 year old me? I’m competing with the 25 year olds of all races. Uh oh.

We, black women, aren’t bitter or angry. We are logical. We know that our options may be less than the next girl and hurt that our primary suitor sometimes sees us as secondary. We are putting our guard up, and we are preparing in case single is our destiny.

Final thoughts: There has been backlash because of my willingness to date other races. I don’t care. I date who I want, and I don’t discriminate based on race. (I have a whole list of things I do discriminate on, LOL) My preference is, and has always been, the black man, but I realize that there are more options out there. And right now, I’m dating hoping for something more, but really just looking to learn more about myself.