I still have a boyfriend, but I remember why this wasn’t the plan. Relationships are hard. Relationships feel like drowning. I’m not enjoying myself.
I still like him. I’m still in the honeymoon phase of love, but the realistic side of me is already seeing the chaos. And, I’m not happy. And, I’m concerned that he realizes I’m not happy and isn’t moving mountains. Move molehills? Hell, stand up and move in the direction of a resolution?
I don’t know where the line is drawn of me being reasonable and unreasonable. I don’t know when I want too much or just enough. It’s complicated and overwhelming. I don’t know how to move forward.
So, I’m standing in place. Perfectly still.
I don’t want ANOTHER failed relationship, but I also don’t want another failed relationship. Same situation really. I’m either in it or not.
I do know that if you don’t tend to your relationship it will fizzle and die, or someone else will swoop in and do what you aren’t doing. I know that for certain.
Officially, I still have a boyfriend.