Options

“You always treated me like only you had other options.”

My actual words. Expressed in multiple relationships. I’ve even had the script flipped and eaten those words on an occasion or two. It’s real talk. Given to real people.

This was brought to mind speaking with someone else recently, and it just reminds me of where I’m currently standing. My last relationship failed. It’s okay. Don’t cry for me. I’m anything but devastated. I’m happy for lessons learned, and that I escaped almost unscathed. Nothing I can’t deal with long term.

He never truly adjusted, changed, or altered any behaviors for me or with me in mind. He was bull-headed. Right even if he was wrong. And, the smartest person he knew. Any time he ever changed anything for me, I did most of the work, while he announced the change, and went back to his initial ways shortly afterwards. Selfish is an understatement. Idiot is accurate.

He made things difficult, because he never thought I’d really leave. At first, I didn’t really. I took myself for granted. Saw his qualifications on paper and thought he was worth the fight. I was prepared to make sacrifices for someone who never considered making them for me. Wow. Jagged little pill. Swallowed hard. No chaser.

When I realized I rather be all alone, living single, enjoying life, than stuck, trapped, in a relationship I hated, it was simple to walk away.

I was done. I’d given everything I had to give. I’d tried with everything in me. I’d done my best. I felt at peace with my decision to leave him, because I knew I had other options.

Difference in me and him was that I knew he did too, and I wish him well.

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