Why are these so complicated?
Living in a small town, it can be hard to find love after your 20s. Most of the good guys have already dated me or my friends, have babies with an old high school nemesis, or have too much of their business out there to be worth the trouble. It’s not easy.
So, I’ve done the online thing somewhat successfully. I’ve dated the former small town guy who moved away. I’ve held on to romances from my times living in other places. And, I’ve met great guys on my travels.
But if they don’t live up the street and around the corner, it just doesn’t seem to work out. Ugh! Long distant relationships are hard, I know. But, they can be really rewarding. Right?
I’ve said it before, and it hasn’t changed much. I am busy. I have a lot on my plate. I’m juggling quite a few things most of the time. Quality time will always be more important than the quantity of time with me. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to see my guy all of the time. It’s just not feasible. We both work. We both are busy. We both need friend time, family time, and alone time. 3-4 days out of 7 can be a tall order and overwhelming.
This is the perfect gig for me right now. I can keep my space, you keep yours. I get to manage my chaos without trying to fit you in, you too. Then our time is our time. We focus on each other, and to hell with the outside world…except for our kids. And, we don’t have to figure anything else out unless we end up at the alter.
I know this won’t work forever. I get that. I’m banking on that, too. I don’t know what forever looks like. I’m open to relocating. I’m open to new adventures. But right now, I’m working on my current plan. And, I want you to fit into it, but not drastically change it. If that’s possible…and fair.
My relationships don’t have to be long distant, but I’m okay if they are. I’m fine trying the distance thing with schedule planning, long weekends, and open communication.
So, I started this with a question. Why are long distance relationships so complicated? And, I don’t see ALL the struggles. So, I went to some of the guys from my past and asked, and the results were kinda expected.
How can a sexual appetite be satisfied miles and hours away? Especially when the expectation is to stay faithful. I get that. I’m not talking about being away at war or states and states apart. I’m talking about a day’s drive. One guy was from here to Houston. That was hard. Not impossible, but it wasn’t ultimately worth it for either of us. I’m really talking about 3 hours maximum, one way. That may not get you any quickies, but it’s definitely a day trip with benefits.
2. I wanted to see you more.
I understand, but our time spent together was amazing. And, we intentionally did that because our time was so precious. That has to count for something.
3. It didn’t seem like you were making real plans to ever fix the distance.
That’s true. I’m not, right now. But if this progresses to something solid, we can figure it out. I’m open to making sacrifices for love.
Because I moved my whole life a few years ago, and it blew up. It was hard on all involved, and I about broke in half because of it. I can’t do that again. I have to be sure that the moves I make are the right moves. I’m dragging my kid along. We have to be sure.
I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished anything more than pled my case. I don’t like the distance, but I don’t mind it. I’m still at a point in my life where I’m open to an adventure.