So…I made a fool of myself the other day. It’s okay. I’ve done it before and recovered. It just is what it is sometimes. I tried to fix it. And, I didn’t even hang my head in shame. I just owned what happened.
My feelings got the best of me. I was already on edge and emotional. Thought adding a last stitch declaration to the past, without the present’s knowledge, was a fabulous idea. Not so much.
I vomited everything. How I felt and what it meant. But, it didn’t matter. It was totally unnecessary, and I ended up looking like a fool.
LOL, I’m okay though. Promise.
“Let it go, girl. Do not engage. Lie back and relax.” Is the advice I’d give myself, IF I’d been willing to listen. Because someone who has had a couple drinks to tame their anxiety and is still running on high emotion shouldn’t use their phone for anything more than games. Nothing. More. Than. Games.
But, the good side is in the failed fix, it’s processed. It’s processed to death. Twice. And, I’m going to be okay.
“He’s just not that into you.”
“Y’all are in different places in your life.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“You can’t make someone love you.”
“Blah. Blah. Blah. Let it go, girl.”
I’ve said it all. I’ve heard it all. I just needed to process it. I needed to feel the hurt, and not excuse it way. I had to process my truth and the truth. And, I’ll be okay.
He didn’t meet me where I stood, because he wasn’t interested. And, that’s okay. There’s someone who is really interested, and he deserves my attention.
I got my heart back.