So there’s this guy, how all my crazy stories start, and he’s been pursuing me. I decided to give him my number and start those long late evening conversations. Everything was going okay. He talks a lot, A LOT, but his stories are usually interesting. And, thanks to modern technology I’m able to listen while multitasking and still get all the major points. I’m not much of a phone conversationalist so it didn’t matter much, and he was enjoying telling me his life story. So, cool.
Until, he shared something near and dear to his heart and I disagreed. Yep, I did. I asked to play devil’s advocate. I asked to look at the other side’s feelings and perspective. But, I didn’t know that would unleash his fury. Before I knew it, he was accusing me of a million different things, interrupting me as I tried to defend myself, and twisting everything I said around. He criticized me for asking the devil into our conversation. Huh?! What now? I said devil’s advocate is a figure of speech. And, he said I was talking to him like he was dumb. He was getting louder, using my name excessively, over prounciating my name, and sighing with disbelief every time I snuck a point in between his rants.
I was feeling overwhelmed. I shut down. I just wanted to go back to before. Listening to his unending stories wasn’t so bad. Can I go back to being the fly on the wall of the conversation he was having with himself? I know better now, and I won’t disagree. I won’t agree. I won’t even use words. I’ll just nod my head and hope he can tell.
It was too late. I’d really screwed up, and there was no fix. I maintained my composure. I spoke calmly, when I spoke. But, it didn’t help. I asked to change the subject, and we did. He finally relaxed. He spoke about weather. I said a few things, but listened mostly. I was happy to be back where we’d been before. Then, he paused. It was brief, but he said it was too long without me picking up the conversation. He was upset again. He accused me of giving him the silent treatment. I promised that I didn’t. I tried to explain it was only a half second of pause. I didn’t know it was my turn.
He was upset again. The other issue resurfaced. I told him I felt like he was picking a fight. I asked him why he was defensive. In turn, he accused me of attacking his masculinity. I wasn’t though. I didn’t know what was happening. I again asked him to not interrupt me. I asked to just finish my thought. I asked. I asked. Then, I yelled. Then he got more aggressive. Then he said he should just say goodbye. And, I hung up.
It all happened within a 37 minute conversation, after talking to each other for only 5 days. It was initially pleasant, then light hearted. We talked about our day. Then I pulled some mystery trigger that turned lighthearted to bad, then okay, and then insane.
Why hadn’t I hung up before? It happened so fast. I felt so trapped. It didn’t even dawn on me, until he released me. I was just trying to make the crazy stop. My heart was racing. I felt like I’d been in a bar squabble. It was so much, so quick, and out of no where. I still am not exactly sure what happened.
I seem to find all the highly emotional, extremely passionate, men the area has. I don’t have that type of energy. I want peace. I want quiet. I want laughter and fun. I don’t wanna feel the way he made me feel. It wasn’t okay. I never want to be in that situation again.
Disclaimer: I do say that I play devil’s advocate. It’s not to upset anyone. It’s in an attempt to view all sides, to look at the situation further and with another perspective. It’s not meant to promote the devil. It’s a figure of speech, coined by the Catholic Church. It was meant to spark a deeper debate. It was to push people to see all sides in their stance. That’s it.