Magically created love life. 

  
I’m saying, yep again, you can’t magically create the love life you want. I’m saying this standing in the mirror, preaching to myself. 

So, the real life part of this is… There’s this guy. He’s new and kind, but he’s already making these big plans for us. Yes, he wants marriage. Yes, he’s open to another child. Yes, we could relocate. Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Wait. 

I just gave all of that up. I just let those dreams die. I finally let it go. Now, you want to bring that back up?

Ummm…

It’s too much, too soon. We barely know each other. You could be crazy. I could be crazy. This train is going too fast. If I can stop it, I’ll probably get off and run. 

No. That’s immature. Instead, I’ll track down the the guy I wanted that with. I’ll give him one last try. I’ll be hopeful and ridiculous. That’s crazy. 

I’m not ready. I don’t want anyone’s marriage. I don’t want anyone’s baby. Can you just pay for my drink and appetizer? Can we have a few laughs and develop some inside jokes? Can we start a friendship? The kind where no declarations are made, and we both keep all our clothes on. 

I just want the life I designed. I want my magically created love life to fall into place. It was a good plan, and I thought he was in. 

So new guy, tell me your magically created love life plan again. I might just be in this time. 

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