“I’m in love with you. I’d die for you.”

  
“I’m in love with you. I’d die for you.” Rich in Faith on Oxygen

FYI: The first man who says this to me, in a believable way, has me. I’m yours. It’s done. It’s a wrap. I’m all in. 

I was hanging out on my couch, watching whatever was on TV when I turned it on, and too far from the remote to have options. When Rich in Faith came on. It’s a reality show about a preacher named Rich and his life. I’m guessing, though. I’ve never seen or heard of this show before today. Seems good, though. 

It opens with Rich and his wife discussing a situation he’s uncomfortable with. She’s telling him it’s no big deal, and he’s trying to make her understand why he’s so passionate about the situation and her safety. And he says, “I’m in love with you. I’d die for you.” Whoa. That’s what I’m waiting to hear! That’s the love I want to have and share. That’s it. Put it in a box and deliver it to me, ASAP. 

And then, The Bodyguard came on. Wow. 

That’s it. 

Magically created love life. 

  
I’m saying, yep again, you can’t magically create the love life you want. I’m saying this standing in the mirror, preaching to myself. 

So, the real life part of this is… There’s this guy. He’s new and kind, but he’s already making these big plans for us. Yes, he wants marriage. Yes, he’s open to another child. Yes, we could relocate. Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Wait. 

I just gave all of that up. I just let those dreams die. I finally let it go. Now, you want to bring that back up?

Ummm…

It’s too much, too soon. We barely know each other. You could be crazy. I could be crazy. This train is going too fast. If I can stop it, I’ll probably get off and run. 

No. That’s immature. Instead, I’ll track down the the guy I wanted that with. I’ll give him one last try. I’ll be hopeful and ridiculous. That’s crazy. 

I’m not ready. I don’t want anyone’s marriage. I don’t want anyone’s baby. Can you just pay for my drink and appetizer? Can we have a few laughs and develop some inside jokes? Can we start a friendship? The kind where no declarations are made, and we both keep all our clothes on. 

I just want the life I designed. I want my magically created love life to fall into place. It was a good plan, and I thought he was in. 

So new guy, tell me your magically created love life plan again. I might just be in this time.