30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself #10

30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself

10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.

This is part of my motivation into this series of blogs. This speaks to me with clarity and urgency. 

Don’t spend another moment unhappy. Do everything in your power to create happiness in your life. You are totally responsible for your feelings and emotions. Proactively work towards happiness. 

The challenge:

Find the moments that make you happy  throughout the day. 

It’s NOT me. IT’S you. 

I couldn’t have been more available unless I’d moved in next door. I couldn’t have been more supportive without an advanced degree in psychology. I couldn’t have loved, or something like it, anymore. I couldn’t have tried any harder. And, that’s how I know this failure isn’t about me. It’s about him. I couldn’t have changed anything, because he wasn’t invested in, or possibly ready for, the same type of relationship or friendship I’m seeking. And finally, we are free. 

That’s the take away. When a relationship doesn’t work, and you have honestly and genuinely given it your all, the issues were bigger than you. It was impossible for you to make it work, because they weren’t ready, in the same place, or willing. And, you’re gonna be okay. It’s their loss. It’s their issue. And if it’s meant to be, they will get their shit together and come back to you. Or they won’t, and you’re better off without them. Either way, have ALL the fun you can withstand in the mean time because you’ve earned it.
Dry your eyes. No one wants to hang out with a cry baby. 

30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself #8/#9

30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself

8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. Wow! This is so incredibly true, and so incredibly important. Before you expect love from the outside, you must have introduced yourself to love. 

The challenge:

Before you start your day, every day, stand in the mirror and give yourself 5 heartfelt compliments. 

9. Start enjoying the things you already have. –
The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.

This is really similar to 6. Start noticing and living in the present. Focus on the present; including what you presently have. 

Desire is beautiful. It’s important. It’s necessary, but don’t let your focus on the next greatest thing make you miss the blessings you currently have. 

The challenge:

Life is short. Focus on the things that matter most. 

30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself #7


30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself

7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you.Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.

Mistakes are a part of life. They teach us lessons, help us grow, and shape our character. They help to establish resiliency and compassion. They are necessary. 

Sometimes you may be winning and not even realize it. 

And, every failed relationship is an opportunity to prepare you for the right relationship.

The challenge:

Look for the lessons in your life. They are often masked by experiences you thought were failures. 

Apples v Oranges

He’s not me. And,I’m not him. 

We are two different people. We have different needs and communicate in different ways. It’s okay…if we understand that.  

Had some issues recently. He wasn’t doing things the way that I would. 

He had some issues with me too. I wasn’t doing things the way that he would. 

We aren’t the same person. We wouldn’t be attracted to each other if we were. And, we are so good together until we make a mountain out of a mole hill. But, not always. We have valid disagreements. We both have valid issues and concerns. We handle things so differently. We have such different needs, and we communicate them so differently. 

Are we not listening to each other? Are we not trying hard enough? 

Disclaimer: This post was originally written a couple weeks ago. Life has definitely changed since this, but I learned from this situation. 

Mars v Venus


30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself #6


30 Things to Start Doing For Yourself

6. Start noticing and living in the present. Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

There are so many uncertainties in my life right now, and I often get incredibly anxious just thinking about it. I can stress myself to tears or just sit back and wait to see what unfolds. Either way, I’m miserable. 

Instead, I’m choosing to enjoy the moment, pray and lean on my faith, and find the beauty in the moment. Because there are incredible things happening right now, and I’m missing them being trapped between anxious and hopeful. 

Get involved in your life TODAY. 

The past happened. The future isn’t guaranteed. All we have is this moment. 

The challenge:

Enjoy this moment. Laugh when something is funny. Cry if you need to. Make decisions that make you happy. Ignore negativity. Try something new. Be kind. Be genuine. Be resilient. Be honest. 

You might be winning. 

You just don’t recognize it. 

One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is realizing a win I didn’t recognize. 

I pray. I pray a lot. All day and throughout the night. I believe in the power of prayer. I also heavily believe in instant gratification. The two seldom match up. 

I ask for stuff all the time, too often, from big to small. And, when I don’t get what I want, in my own time, I sometimes feel slighted. Immature, I know, but I’m serious. Amen? Amen. 

But, sometimes you’re still a winner. Yes, even when you feel like you lost. Because character is built by patience and “no.” And, the loss may be saving you from something overwhelming. AKA, it’s a win. 

In relationships, sometimes things don’t work out because you’re being prepared for something bigger and better. It may be preparation for the right relationship or the right timing for your current relationship. 

You may be winning, and you don’t even realize it. Because, it’s not the win you envisioned. It’s not the win you designed. 

Originally written on 04/26/2015. 

Relevant, forever.