Your behaviors have a direct effect on my behaviors.

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Your behaviors have a direct effect on my behaviors.

Cause and effect in the worst way.

I recently had an issue in my relationship. It felt like a big issue, but it wasn’t. It was a tiny thing that blew up because of our communication.

He has his stuff. His stuff turns him into a recluse, and he shuts me out. It makes me question EVERYTHING. It lights my mind up like fireworks. I go a mile a minute. Over thinking is my downfall. I feel scared. I doubt our relationship. Every issue we’ve ever had glows like fire in my mind. I freak out. I want to run, but my heart makes me stay. I say things I shouldn’t. I’ll do anything to create communication. I’ll say anything to evoke a response. I get desperate and scared.

He can’t handle it. I create a new problem that adds to whatever he’s already dealing with. But, I can’t see that. Because he never shared it with me in the first place.

Everything could have been okay if the lines of communication would just stay open. All the time. Just say something.

His behaviors caused my behaviors.

And, I don’t know if we will be okay. I don’t known how we stopped being okay. I don’t know what happened in the first place.

We love each other. We didn’t get there intentionally. We didn’t plan this. We are probably both afraid. We are both having a hard time. Why aren’t we having that conversation? Why aren’t we communicating better? Why does this keep happening? Love shouldn’t be this complicated. Love is supposed to make things better.

My mind says this is enough and I should cut and run, but my heart says I’m where I’m supposed to be. Who’s right?

Our behaviors have a direct effect on our behaviors. And, when it’s good it’s better than perfection. But when it’s bad, it’s two hurt people hurting each other.

Disclaimer: I researched on the correct ways to use the affect and effect before posting this. Don’t want to look stupid on the Internet. Hope I got this right.

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