I thought, for sure, I’d be running my own business and juggling a husband and 2-3 kids by now. Ummm…nope. I was supposed to be in a different place, but I’m not.
I’m 33. I don’t have a husband. I DO have a perfect son, though. But, I didn’t have him in the situation I’d planned out. My career isn’t as planned. My business is sitting at a stalemate.
Nothing is according to plan. Nothing.
And, a HUGE part of me wants to pull it all back together. I want to fix it. I want another baby and a man (not sure about marriage anymore). I want my business to flourish. I want to let the retail life go to focus on the other stuff. I want things to get back on track…a decade late.
But what if it doesn’t happen? Am I interested in having a baby? Yes. But, am I interested in continuing as a single mom? I don’t know. I don’t like being a single mom. I don’t like it at all, but I can do it. I’ve been doing it. And, my son is perfect. He’s perfect. Seriously, he’s perfect.
And, marriage freaks me out. I want forever with someone. But, that same forever makes me anxious. Does that mean I just haven’t met the right person? I don’t know.
Planning is great, but you can plan all day, straight through the night, and into tomorrow and it just not work. Life is designed to rock you. You’re supposed to be thrown into the impossible to figure it out. Life is just that way.
So to all of you, to us, who’s plans didn’t work out, it’s okay. Instead of being stuck in what didn’t happen, let’s figure out what is happening. Pray over the change, and keep going. Time is going to keep moving, and God changes plans for better outcomes than what we could have ever imagined.