Are you showcasing your best self?

As single ladies, we are constantly on audition for the right relationship. You NEVER EVER know where your Prince Charming may be hanging out. Although not the right man, I’ve met men grocery shopping, getting my oil changed, pumping gas, and out and about town. You NEVER EVER know who might be in your vicinity. (This is also true with business connects and opportunities.)

Are you ALWAYS showcasing your best self…generally speaking?

I don’t expect you to roll to the convenience store in a full face of make up with your Louboutins on to grab a Red Bull, but you can put on decent clothes and a bra. You can. You must.

Stop being lazy, and complaining that opportunity always fails to knock on your door.

You may have missed Prince Charming because you weren’t approachable. But fear not, God will put him back in your path. Be ready.

How? Easier than you think. 2 things to focus on. Yep, just 2. And they are both sure fire ways to change how you’re showcasing yourself.

1. Check and reset your “Resting BITCH face.” (borrowed this phrase from my diabolical friend, Courtnee)

Your resting face is the facial expression you most often make when you assume no one is paying attention. It’s usually your thinking face. Some of us scrunch up our noses or foreheads. I have a tendency of wrinkling up my nose because of my glasses. I have to be careful of wrinkling my forehead, a few of those wrinkles have been sticking around.

Your “resting bitch face” is the expression you give off when your resting face is done horribly wrong. It’s when your resting face looks more like a horror mask, or grumpy cat, than you wearing your thinking cap.

You may need to check your resting face to ensure it doesn’t come across as a “resting bitch face.” Look in the mirror, and see if your resting face is approachable or scary.

In a nutshell: LOOK PLEASANT! Easy enough? Yep.

2. What are you wearing? “Lounge-wear style.”

I am so guilty of this. I love my casual, rested, styling. I could live my whole life in lounge pants, leggings, and tees. You could bury me in my Banana Republic sweats.

But it’s often not enough, because lounge wear is meant to be lounged around the house in. So, add a few accessories, pedicure those toes if you must wear your foam flip flops, smooth on some BB cream, and a few flips of mascara and it will turn that casual look intentional. No buttons, snaps, zippers, or hook-n-eye needed.

Because even lounge wear can be styled, but most of the time it’s just not. It looks like you should be home, or somewhere, avoiding the public’s judgmental eye.

We CANNOT keep expecting anyone to envision us in the latest trends. We CANNOT expect the single men of the world to see past our messy ponytails, oversized hoodies, and “what the hell you looking at” expressions.

We MUST make an effort. We must step up our style and demeanor to a display level. We MUST be prepared for who ever else is also running errands.

And as much as I’m preaching to you, I’m preaching to me.

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It’s getting too comfortable…

She said: My relationship is getting too comfortable. I don’t think he appreciates me anymore. I need to liven things up or move on.

I said: Wait, if you’re thinking about moving on that’s a-whole-nother conversation. Let’s focus on livening things up.

I said: First, what have you tried?

She said: Nothing?

I said: Okay. (Laced with sarcasm.) Maybe both of you are too comfortable. He could be having this same conversation with one of his friends, too.

Us: Silence.

I firmly believe in dates. I’ve missed that most in my recent gigs. We stopped dating. You shouldn’t. The moment the relationship loses that zest, you lose the relationship. You need quality time together based on nothing more than spending time together. You can’t sit at the dinner table, going over finances, and consider it quality time.

Why don’t you two sit at the dinner table, discuss finances, and come up with a date night allowance. For this first time, allot money for two dates. You plan one, with him in mind, and he plans the other, with you in mind.

“…in mind.” Because, you want it to be enjoyable for you both. You want to pick something, even if you’re introducing the other to something, that can be fun for you to do together.

After the dates, schedule weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly dates. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, or have experiences you want to share with one another.

There’s more. Why don’t you exchange letters? You’re concerned about the comfort and appreciation in your relationship. Use this as the resource to break the ice. Start the conversation. Fix the problem.

This is easy. In your letters, write the 3 things your partner does for you, or your family, that you appreciate most, and the 3 things you do for them, or your family, that you enjoy most. And when you exchange your letters, read them aloud. Share the moment.

If you are too comfortable, push your limits, mix it up, and change things. Relationships require growth and development too.

Caught between Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong.


There’s a space between Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong. It’s called sanity.

I personally have spent time trapped between the guy I SHOULD be with and the guy that I wanted. It’s a dangerous situation.

It typically ends with me wondering is he caught between me being his Ms. Wrong, and her, the future Mrs. Right.

When your gut, God, and all your friends are telling you to leave him alone because of X, Y, and Z, you probably should. There’s undoubtedly a man out there who is perfect for you, Mr. Right. And, you can’t get to him while you’re waiting on Mr. Wrong to call you back.

Y’all aren’t gonna work. You know that. I know that. What are you doing? What are we doing?

Better question: Who has the best singles happy hour, and what time does it start?