This ain’t about you.

This ain’t about you. Really. It’s not.

His issues are his by himself. They were born before you hit the scene, and will probably continue long after you pack up your feelings and move on.

Too often, as women, we want to fix everything. We take on relationship problems and issues like we can invincibly handle anything. We want to fix him, but if we can’t…

Oh no.

If we can’t, we cannot rest. It must be us. We must not be fulfilling something in this relationship that we are obligated to handle. We aren’t slender enough, smart enough, sexy enough, don’t cook well enough, don’t clean well enough, didn’t impress his mama, or hold him down the right way. We must have missed something. We must not have done something. We made a mistake. Right?

Wrong.

We can’t fix him. If we’ve done everything we can, in all the right ways, it’s probably bigger than our love. His issues are bigger than our ability.

We are fine. We are wonderful. We have to realize some things are bigger than us. Sometimes we just need to just let it go. And, let him go.

I watched the episode of Iyanla, Fix My Life with the man who fathered 34 children with 17 women. Wow! I was sadden by how broken this man was, and his attempts at hiding his own pain and struggles. These women, wow, many were convinced that their relationship with him was different. They thought, at some point, their relationships were stronger or better than those he’d been in before. Wrong. He was broken when he met each of them, made children, and left them alone. There was nothing in their power to make those relationships better. He was broken. They couldn’t have fixed him.

So tonight when we pray for our relationships, pray for the strength of your man. Pray he finds what he needs, and ask that he be able to find it in your relationship. And, pray that if he doesn’t, you have the strength to let it all go with your dignity and ego in tact.

Amen.

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