You’re asking me to change?

I’m not going to change for you. I’ve been doing me for so long, I wouldn’t know how to be the woman you’re creating.

This was prompted by the man who said that our relationship would be progressing faster if I was willing to be recreated in his likeness. God…is that you?

According to him, it turns out that…

-I don’t talk the way he does, and I laugh too loud.
-I drive too fast.
-I cuss too much.
-I wear too much and not enough make up at the same time.
-My Converse aren’t ladylike.
-And, my heels are too high.
-My wardrobe is too casual.
-I eat the wrong things.
-I have too many tattoos.
-My sarcasm is over the top.
-My wit can come across as offensive.
-Am I sure about being natural? My straight hair was so pretty.
-When am I gonna let go of the piercing?
-I’m too attached to my friends and family.
-And, I work too much.

My response: “If I’m so bad, why are you here?”

Him: “I love you. You’re beautiful and amazing. You have so much potential, if…”

Me: “Potential? I’m getting too old for potential. Some stuff just is at this point. EVERYTHING you have issue with…just is.”

-I communicate amazingly, speak English, and am easy to understand. And, I laugh loud when something is uncontrollably funny. Otherwise I just laugh.
-I drive just fine.
-I do cuss a lot, but only when appropriate…mostly.
-I wear make up the way I want when I want. There’s never been too much.
-My Converse, the low top black on black or the classic white? They’re both awesome, and so are my heels.
-And, my wardrobe fits my life right now. I wear casual clothes to my retail job. I wore business clothes to my office job. On date night, I dress for that too. I dress for the occasion. Blogging right now in an old pair of Gap sweats and the pink and leopard New Balance.
-I eat more fruit and vegetables than most, than you, but I don’t do much red meat slathered in brown gravy with mashed potatoes and biscuits. Sorry, I don’t eat like you.
-I like my tattoos and piercings. I chose them all, and the work is phenomenal.
-My sarcasm is funny. So is my wit. Maybe you don’t get it.
-And my hair…whatever. These curls are EVERYTHING.
-My friends and family are off limits. Period. You don’t get to assess those relationships. I’m not commenting on your enabled relationship with your mama.
-And, I do work A LOT. But, my bills are paid, and I’ve never asked you for shit.

I’m still the woman you’ve known for years.

I like me. I’m comfortable with the woman I am…mostly.

I am more than open to inspiration and alteration if I see, or am introduced, to the value. I’m not done growing and developing. But, I change for my benefit.

I don’t change to just accommodate or please a man.

*Drops the mic. Exits the stage.*

5 thoughts on “You’re asking me to change?

  1. I would hope the only changes you make are to enhance “you” in hopes to enhance your relationships. He should tell you all that he doesn’t Like about you and you should do the same….raw communication is very healthy and enlightening but I do agree that your “inspiration and alterations” should have clear and reasonable reasons behind they. Not just to save face, enhance his attraction, or be a power move….they should refine you to refine y’all. But, if this is what he truly wants and you truly don’t want, you shouldn’t be asking him Why he is there. You should be asking yourself why are you. You don’t need nothing else to walk away….


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