Spinster Hag v Relationship Maven

Hey Relationship Mavens,

Your single friends didn’t die when you chose commitment.

The girls you used to talk to everyday
AKA Spinster Hag

I’ve mentioned that all my girls are booed up a couple times. Whether or not they are happily committed is beside the point. The whole world is in love, and I’m not. It’s cool. I’m not bitter because I’m not certain I’m ready, but it’s frustrating that our relationship status changed when your relationship status changed.

I’m sad and screaming, “what about me?” Silently screaming. Screaming in my head. Because if the single girl dare say ANYTHING aloud, she is considered desperate AND jealous.

Immediately, I’ll be attacked for not being positive and happy for my friend. Becoming the spinster that wants everyone to be single because I am. Then you’ll say that’s probably why I’m alone, because of how bitter I’ve become. And lastly, some one, some recently booed up chick of course, will say that I just need to get laid. Ugh!

So I’ll sit here, remembering my only child lessons. I’ll self soothe. I’ll play alone. And when the honeymoon, the can’t get enough of each other phase, passes, my phone will ring and my last text will be returned. I’ll break my neck to get to you, because I miss you.

That’s it. 😦

No wait…I’m happy for you. Really. I am.

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