Platonic

Can men and women just be friends without any other relationship obligations?

I don’t know. Some of my longest lasting relationships are with men…that I dated and/or slept with. But the past is the past, right?

I’m kidding, but not kidding.

My real answer…absolutely! It can be a fantastic friendship, too!

I think that any heterosexual man and woman have to get the physical out of the way to really have a real relationship. And, it has to be totally off the table, completely. It has to be a situation where neither of you is lusting after the other. That doesn’t necessarily mean you have to have slept together to be friends, but putting that animalistic instinct to bed could make for a better friendship. (Don’t excuse the pun.)

I value these relationships in a completely different way than I do my girl friends. Men offer new insight in situations. Most of my girl friends and I have similar interests, thought patterns, and beliefs. We also can support each other to a point of enabling. My male friends have no problem calling me out. They want what’s best for me just like my ladies, but they are completely missing the female filter. I need that sometimes.

And, it’s nice hanging out with guys who don’t require you to be all shiny and perfect. I don’t have to put on a full face of make up or stilettos to kick it.

Disclaimer: Don’t get me wrong. I HAVE NOT slept with every one of my male friends. Promise, I haven’t. (I can even get them to sign affidavits and scan them in if you don’t believe me.) There are some relationships that have never been on my radar sexually. It was never on the table. Our chemistries didn’t connect that way.

And still, there are some relationships that went all the way. No judgements.

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One thought on “Platonic

  1. I’ve always felt that at some level I have to be attracted to all of my friends, but that doesn’t mean that I want to be in a romantic relationship. Two of my best friends are guys, and we regularly hug, kiss, and express our love for each other. However, we’ve also had conversations that ensure that we are totally on the same page. While other people don’t quite get it (people we see regularly still insist that I should be dating one of them if I’m not already), it’s just the way our friendships work. As I told them this weekend: if you can’t flirt with your friends, who can you flirt with? The point is, I totally think that two heterosexual people of opposite sexes can just be friends, just as two gay/bi women could be friends, as could two gay/bi men, and it’s sad that people who aren’t part of those relationships often assume otherwise.

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