Used

I hate to tell you this, but someone should. He’s using you.

Relationships are partnerships. The moment you start to excessively give to someone who is just taking, your ridiculousness indicator should start flashing red. He is using you. And, it’s not a relationship.

Don’t confuse crazy with your actual relationship though. There can be similarities, but it’s different. I was involved with a man who hit some bumps in life. His company shut down and he spent a few months looking for another gig and just trying to figure out his life. During that time, dinners were more my treat than his. There were no more little gifts coming my way. His attention and affection didn’t change though. His means to provide financially did. He had to manage his resources differently. He didn’t know how long he was going to be without a job. But, when it was hard to find what he wanted he took what he could until better came along.

I couldn’t beat up him for that. I didn’t like the change, but it was understandable. And it was bothering him far more than it bothered me.

Now, that is COMPLETELY different from the guy who has never been a provider. The man who doesn’t provide financially, mentally, or emotionally to the relationship is not handling his business. Any man who is only showing up to see what you will provide them is using you. No justification will change the facts either.

And they will eventually leave you. No acts big or small, by you, will keep them around. They see no value in your relationship. You are just someone they use.

I’m sorry.

Disclaimer: The same could be said for a woman, too.

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