The break up

Doom and gloom.

I hate break ups. I hate feeling the loss of the relationship. I hate losing.

Many people say get back on the horse, jump into something casual and fun, etc. I say stop dead in your tracks. Reflect on what happened, and mourn the end of the relationship. It’s a death. The relationship died. If you need to shed tears because of that, it’s okay. If you need to walk through life in a fog, it’s okay. Just don’t stay in that desolate place for long.

I know a girl that seemed halfway down the aisle when her man told her it wasn’t gonna work out. She was crushed, and she spun out of control. Everything suffered. Work was unbalanced, her social life suffered, she lost weight, and made horrific decisions we wondered if she could recover from. He was her everything. She was totally invested, in love, and committed. He broke her heart. He said it wasn’t going to work. They were headed in different directions. He wanted to save them from heart break later. She was heart broken now.

My last break up was similar in reason. He wanted marriage and babies immediately. He wanted me to start looking for work in his area. It was all happening so fast. I wanted to go the opposite direction down the interstate. I felt we should both move. Let’s make the leap together. We don’t need to rush marriage or babies. The clock is ticking, but can we take the time to live in this moment first? He said no. Why wait? Why do we both need to move? Why can’t I make it work where he is? Why am I weighing our sacrifices? And I knew it wasn’t for me, he wasn’t for me. It’s true that I wanted a man who wanted all of this, and with me. Now I had it, and I couldn’t appreciate it as it was. He wasn’t the right guy.

And, she wasn’t the right girl.

Break ups happen to move us to the right place for the right person. If we stay stuck in the wrong relationship we could be missing out on our destiny. I know it sucks. I realize it’s overwhelming. I get that you rather do anything else, but it’s bound to happen until it’s never meant to happen again. Stay the course.

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