The good outweighs the bad by 1%

What do you do when you know it’s bad, but it’s not so bad that you want to leave? Plus, you love them despite their crazy.

You stay. You stick it out. You ride the wave to shore. Because there’s no way you wouldn’t.

2nd Chris is that guy. The good outweighs the bad, by more than 1%, but I can’t see the future. Not that I don’t foresee a future, I can’t see it. Maybe they’re the same thing. There are some relationships that you want to go all the way in. You can see the future clear as a bell, even if it doesn’t ultimately work out. And, there are those relationships that you know are just for fun. There’s no longevity, but it’s okay because that’s the plan. Maybe you’ll be surprised, but you aren’t banking on that. I see nothing, and I see everything. I can’t figure out the future, if there is one.

What do you do in this situation? You talk. Have we talked…nope. Why? Because I’m not ready for an answer…terrified. And because I’m terrified of having a real relationship conversation filled with questions and honesty, I keep riding the wave. If we admit there’s no substance, we hit the shore and hard. If we try, again, I have to face the possibility that I may not be ready. He may not be ready, either. Cringe.

Disclaimer: I don’t doubt that this man cares about me. I have before, but not at this point. But, sometimes I wonder if he cares enough about me to be my husband and father to my son. (I’m still standing on the fence about more kids.) And, I wonder if that’s what I want too.

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