Online Dating

Online dating, ummm…it’s not really my thing. Well, I’m not good at it. Feels like a meat market. And, I find myself questioning why the guys I don’t even want to interact with don’t get past the viewing stage. Over active ego, yep that’s me. Maybe we both knew that the nudge, wink, flirt, etc would have been lost on me anyway. And, I respond to EVERYONE. As a southerner, I find it rude to not speak back, but in the online dating world that’s equal to false hope. Ugh! Where is the handbook? Oh, there’s no beginners guide? SMH

I’ve dated a couple guys. I thought that getting to know them through other means would give me different results. Not so much.

In theory, online dating should be great for the single mother. We are busy multi-taskers that need options. We need as many things on our own terms as possible. So having the freedom to review possible suitors while doing laundry, dishes, or cooking dinner is perfect. Or, at least it should be. But, there’s a level of commitment that isn’t always being reciprocated online. Some men talk a good game, but they’re only looking to hook up. You have to be careful of that.

Is it worth it? I don’t know. If you are recently getting back into the dating world for whatever reason, or in a new area, this could be a good option to meet new people and/or have some casual, practice, dates. It can even be a way to make new friends. (I made a great friendship from an online dating disaster.)

Online Dating DON’TS:

Do NOT meet in a private place. Much like a new man you meet at a bar or elsewhere, you don’t really know each other. There’s no reason for him to know something as personal as where you live, and vice versa. Don’t meet anywhere you are uncomfortable. Only have meetings in well-lit, public, areas.

Do NOT feel obligated to have sex. If that’s what you went into this arrangement expecting, ok. But if you’ve been hooked into thinking it’s a traditional date, you can keep it that way.

Do NOT be afraid to ask him what he is looking for. Unless you are dating for sport, this is a valid question.

Do NOT be afraid to say no, or say nothing. Speaking is free. Agreed. But, in the online dating world it can also be misleading. And, no one can make you share any personal information with them.

Do NOT misrepresent yourself. Be who you are! Again, BE WHO YOU ARE! Don’t hid from your truth, but put your best most current foot out there.

Be wise. Be strong. Be smart.

Disclaimer: There’s sometimes a stigma attached to online dating. It’s for the lonely, desperate, or those looking to “hook up,” right? Not necessarily, no more than the assortment of people trolling bars and hot spots. Sometimes it’s just an option when the other options haven’t worked.

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