Dating and the Single Mother: Spontaneity

Spontaneity doesn’t live here. Most of my time is planned out within 30 minute intervals. Things already overlap, and I’m spread thin. I am managing two lives daily, mine and my son. I also have a full-time job and a small handmade jewelry business. Shameless plug: blaisedENVY. I’m busy! And, if I’m not planful Blaise and I will both spin out of control.

Non-parents and non custodial parents have trouble understanding this. We cannot make changes at the drop of a hat. What you don’t understand is, our initial plans probably already took extensive planning and arranging. I have to make sure Blaise is cared for, clothes are prepared, lunches are packed, school responsibilities are handled, and he knows that overnight isn’t forever. And, while we’re gone I have calls to answer and promises to keep. I am a mom first, and a hot date second.

So when you cancel on me, you just disrupted a fine order that may have taken me a week to design. I’m probably gonna be upset about that. And if your reason is bogus, I’m probably not going to give you another chance, or I’m going to make you work for it.

I just want the men to understand. My “no” doesn’t mean I’m not interested or don’t care. My “no” is because there is a little person that has to be the priority every time.

As a single mom, I am forever juggling time and events. You can’t make last minute plans with a single mom, and you can’t react negatively to our no. No doesn’t mean I don’t like you. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. It simply means I can’t. I am forever building a list of priorities, and “no” you didn’t make the cut this time. Sorry, sir.

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