Baby?

I want a baby! I love the life I have, but I always envisioned at least one more child. And, Blaise is growing up so fast. I just want those moments one more time. Please…

Every time a man brings up having a child my heart almost jumps out of my chest. Then I’m reminded of the drama filled chaos with the 1st Chris and the heartbreak with James. I want to believe it could be better, but it could be painfully the same. I know better.

Being a single mom is hard work. I have done EVERYTHING for Blaise with little outside help. My parents have been there and been supportive, but everyone else only has to do what they want to do. I don’t have that luxury. No one has ever given me a break when I felt overwhelmed or allowed me to cry on their shoulder. I have carried the good and bad times, emotional, physical, and mental, on my back alone. And, that’s fine because Blaise is my son. I don’t regret anything about him, EVER. I just don’t know if I’m up to doing it again the same way.

So I wait it out, right? Probably not. I’m 33 years old. I have less than 2 years to meet Mr. Right, fall “in love,” get married, and make a baby. I don’t even have a prospect. I don’t have a chance. Instead, I let this go. I continue to thank God EVERYDAY for the blessing that is Blaise. And if I need to hold a baby, I politely ask a stranger and hope for the best. LOL

Disclaimer: There are added health risks and complications after a woman turns 35. I don’t want to take that chance.

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One thought on “Baby?

  1. Pingback: Pregnancy scare | That Relationship Thing

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