I originally posted this at stylechatic.wordpress.com, December 21, 2014. It was a part of my “No Fashion, Just Feelings” series before I started this relationship blog.
I don’t consider myself competitive. Many say I am though. I’m not as focused on the competition as I am on not losing. I hate to lose. I don’t have to be the winner…yeah, I do.
I find this is a theme in my relationships. I’m not invested in the love as much as I’m invested in the win. Sad face. I’m not allowing myself to get too emotionally involved, because if this thing crumbles I CANNOT be the emotional loser. I need to maintain a considerable amount of control to be comfortable…unfortunately.
Maybe I am a little bit competitive. Just a smidgen.
I don’t know how to fix this. I’m sure it’s rooted in my childhood and my relationships with my family. Blah. Blah. Blah. I have decided that the right man, Mr. Right, will change things. Fingers crossed.
Maybe that’s why I invest so much in my kid, my business, and my wardrobe. I have a desire to maintain a level control, remember?